The Inner Workings of an Active Mind

Well it's been an eventful week, hasn't it?

2007-04-21T02:43:06Z

What the hell is going on as of late? It seems like this entire week was filled with excitement, and not the good kind. First there was that crazy rain that pretty much flooded all sorts of areas in NJ (luckily though my town wasn't one of them), then that ghastly VA Tech shooting. My heart goes out to everyone because in all honesty, it could happen anywhere and to anyone. Yeah and i noticed something freaky. The killer was 23 years old and killed 32 ppl. Yeah, so did anyone see that movie The Number 23? lol. Yeah that kinda weirded me out with a comparison, but sure lol. Lastly, some old man at Foodtown went and either had a stroke or a heart attack in the middle of the store. It scared the shit out of me, but I think he's going to be alright, so that's good.

Ah, but let's hope a better week is around the corner.

Amen to that!

Self Actualization

2007-04-14T21:35:57Z

April, April April! This month is undoubtedly my favorite of the entire year. I've got a new job at Foodtown and everyone there seems to really like me, which makes me happy. I've also noticed various changes within myself just in the past month alone. I am so much more confident and outgoing than I used to be. People I know have also told me lately that I seem different, not only in how I act, but how I look too. Apparently I look older because this one girl I work with thought I was 23 and looked REALLY surprised when I said i was 19 lol. I'm also actually starting to be noticed for my work ethic and my smarts more than ever before. Also, I'm becoming more self reliant and independent which feels SO good. Oh man, I honestly feel so great at this point.

Teehee, rumor has it that a friend of my neighbor who I've met once or twice thinks I'm pretty, lol. I honestly have a feeling I'm going to be set up eventually, lol, but we shall see!

Yeah so basically life rocks right now.
Jesper who?

Damn that was fast!

2007-03-22T22:09:44Z

Wow, so this week is going by terribly fast. It doesn't really seem like spring break was a week ago. You know what is awesome? For the first time in my life, I actually studied math! It's a miracle! Well, I feel the need to keep my sexy 3.7 GPA up not only so Ramapo doesn't turn around and decide they don't want me anymore, but for bragging rights as well haha. Statistics is extremely boring, but I don't think I suck horribly. I think I did fairly well on the test too. I also got a lot of extra sleeping in this week because my Soc professor was out. This meant no 8:30 class for me! Well, the only problem is that it kind of throws me off on what time I actually have to leave for my 10:00 class. Turns out I was about a minute or so late to my English class haha. I forgot to remind her to mark me late instead of absent, so I have to get on her ass about that. I got a 90 on my in class essay too.. WOO I officially rock.

You know what rocks harder though? That penguin in the Sims 2 Seasons that talks to the snowman.

Yeah anyway, back on track. I really want this semester to end soon. None of my classes particularly pwn and I really want to go to Ramapo. I need excitement! Well, I'll kind of get that in April cuz my school is sponsoring a trip to Gettysburg which I've been to 3294789374 times and loooveee. Basically, I'm SO going. This time I actually want to go exploring on my own instead of going on tours and shit, cuz I've done that so many times. I never really had the opportunity to walk the field and explore, especially that Devil's Den place with all the rocks. Always wanted to get a closer look at that. Yay! Why am I drawn to such a place of blood, death, and destruction? Who knows haha, but that place is awesome.

Shazaam!

AHAHA yeah: http://www.break.com/index/300_the_pg_remix.html

Yeah so basically I need to vent.

2007-03-21T02:54:15Z

fuck you....
fuck you

I don't understand how you can just abandon someone like that. After a fucking year and a half THAT is all I meant? I at least wish you had a damn good reason, but you didn't. Basically you just filled my ears with flimsy excuses trying to justify yourself. Not supportive enough? Yeah, you only wish. Remember when you hurt your back? I was there for you. I drove your ass home from school in the middle of the day, and I came over every night that week. I always listenened to you when you were upset. I took you to the flippin doctor to get your hand checked up on after you got stitches. Even though I didn't come over when you were puking (as no normal person would), I at least called you to make sure you were alright. Then you accuse me of being too supportive by saying I shouldn't lay down my life for you if you had to relocate. So tell me, what the fuck is it then? Too supportive, or not enough? A relationship is not about keeping score on who does what for whom. It's about caring about the PERSON, which is something you're apparently incapeable of doing.

I've also come to realize, it was always about you. It seems like I had to do what you wanted, when you wanted or else you'd whine or get mad. When it bothered you, you wouldn't even be decent enough to tell me. It seems that I was more like some trophy for you own personal gratification than a girlfriend. You're just a selfish cold hearted bastard. No wonder Laura was/is so bitter. I can understand that now. Congratulations, you officially rock at destroying relationships with people who care about you. I hope your insensitivity keeps you warm at night. I loved you very much, but it's apparent that you didn't deserve it. I hope your next girlfriend rips out your heart and stomps on it so that you know how it feels to be used up and disposed of. Maybe then you'll think twice on how you treat people. I hope you and your skis are happy together, because if you continue to act like this, they will be all you'll ever have.